Perspective v. Comparison

Lately I've been feeling this strong urge to write about comparison and perspective in my life.

I have always had comparison issues.

Growing up, I compared myself to my sister. I would interpret my less social personality as a fault compared to my sister's over-the-top, fearless nature of participating in and excelling in everything.

In high school, I compared my grades with those of my classmates, always wanting to excel not necessarily for myself, but to prove to others and my parents how smart I could be.

In college, I compared my body to those of the tan, plastic Barbie bodies found only in San Diego.

As a married woman, I now compare my home to other married couple's homes. I compare my relationship with Aaron to the relationships other married couples share.

As a mom, I compare my little family to the growing families of other young married couples. I look at how "together" some moms have it or how lucky some are to have 2, 3 or even 4 children, when I feel I am far from perfect as Ella's mom, and I can't even conceive a second baby!

As a Christian, I compare my faith to other's. I feel my faith is so weak and easily turned away compared to the steadfast, sturdy, unfailing faith of others. I try to live a life pleasing to God, in ways that come so easily to others, but I seem to fail time and time again.

However, perspective is different than comparison.

When comparing, I focus on what I don't have. And I see what I do have in a negative, ungrateful light. I look at what other people have, instead of being indifferent to what others have and focusing on what I have right in front of me.

In my opinion, perspective is a view of something, without a comparative nature. Someone's perspective is his or her outlook on something, without regarding outside factors to determine that outlook. For example, a color can be blue, but when next to a darker blue, by comparison, that blue now becomes a lighter blue.

My perspective on my life, without any comparison, is really, really good. I have a wonderful life!

I have a husband who loves and adores me, who will fight for me, lead me and carry me through good and bad times.

I have the most precious daughter, who literally is my beating heart walking outside my body

I have a great job that provides me with the flexible hours and experience that I need.

I have my health.

I have wonderful family that value and appreciate me.

I am a proud homeowner of a beautiful home.

And, I have my faith, no matter how big or small, it is my faith. I have a relationship with God unique to me.

Because, you see, I am lacking nothing. God has blessed me immeasurably more than I could've ever imagined or ever deserved, but yet I still want more. What is wrong with me???

I have to stop looking resentfully at others because that means I'm falling into the all too familiar zone of comparing. I need to step out of this zone, take a deep breath, and maintain a strong perspective of my beautiful life.

Because, really, I have a beautiful life.