Day of Conception

Today is officially the day Aaron and I "conceive." Today Aaron's sperm penetrate my eggs (through ICSI) and conception occurs. As I type this, the embryologists are in the lab creating this union and monitoring for fertilization.

Instead of my egg being released naturally through ovulation and Aaron's sperm naturally finding the awaiting oocyte, the doctors and embryologists are taking care of all that in the lab. It's like a baby-making factory! Fertilization is occurring TODAY! Right this second, in fact! That makes me so excited! :)

There was an embryologist assistant in the operation room who, literally, took the eggs as they were retrieved, much like how a nurse is there waiting for the baby as he/she is delivered. Of course, I don't remember any of the retrieval. I just remember my nurse introducing me to everyone in the room who would be having a part in the procedure. After the introductions, I felt the anesthesia taking effect and before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed and I was back in the recovery area confused, emotional and incoherent.

I was told I was babbling in my sleep throughout the entire retrieval. I hope I didn't say anything bad! LOL!!!

After retrieval, I cried a lot and asked the same questions over and over again. Aaron just held my hand and helped me through such a vulnerable state. It didn't take long for me to regain my coherency and once the nurse felt I was at a point to be able to retain and understand information, she had Dr. Weckstein come in with the results.

Prior to the procedure, he told me he was hoping to retrieve 10 to 12 eggs, because if you remember, only 8 of my eggs were mature at my last sonogram a couple days ago.

Well, 19 eggs were retrieved!!! WOO HOO!!! :)

Dr. Weckstein told me that with that amount retrieved, he can almost guarantee a 5-day blastocyst transfer (which has proven to have better success rates than 3-day transfers). He also said, verbatim, "You have the highest chance of success that I can give anybody."

I'll take it!

Today, I will start a new routine of medication. Dr. Weckstein wants me to take:

• 16mg of Medrol;
• 100mg of Doxycycline (twice a day);
• 2mg of Estrace (twice a day);
• 81mg of Aspirin and Prenatal Vitamin; and
• The dreaded Progesterone injection.

The nurse drew targets on each of my hips where Aaron has to inject me with the massive Progesterone needle. Or, he can pretend the needle is a dart and throw it at the target. :)

This needle is the mother of all needles. All my prior injections are a piece of cake compared to this monstrosity. And, to top it off, it takes a good 15 to 20 seconds to inject all of the medicine. NOT looking forward to this night after night, but it's a small price to pay for the end product.

Honeymoon Suite without the Honeymoon

We made it to Hotel Sierra and let me tell you...this is the nicest hotel we've ever set foot in! It's super fancy, overly detailed, and incredibly suave. You can't expect anything less from a ritzy infertility clinic, though. :)

We have to be at the clinic tomorrow morning at 7:00 to prepare for my 8:00 sharp egg retrieval. I'm very grateful we won't have to make the early drive in the fog tomorrow. RSC is literally a hop, skip and jump away from the hotel.

Being in this really nice hotel without Ella makes me feel guilty for not enjoying ourselves more. One would think we'd enjoy this mini-vaca away from reality with just the two of us, but such is not the case. An overnight stay in a ritzy hotel alone should be a time for some lovin', but nope!

Instead, Aaron has a really bad cold with a 100-degree temperature, and I, well, I have never felt so bloated before in my life! I have this constant pressure in my lower abdomen where I literally feel like I'm going to explode. I cannot bend down or stand of quickly. If I do, I feel super sharp pain in both ovaries. Luckily my boss is understanding, because I worked all day in sweats today. It was either that or unbuttoned pants! :)

My dad has been jokingly referring to my follicles as icicles, always asking how my icicles are doing. It's funny because, really, I do feel like the ice queen. I have been so snappy towards Aaron, more so than any other time during our marriage. I'm not going to place all the blame on the drugs anymore. I think it's more nerves now, than anything. I'm nervous for tomorrow's procedure. I'm nervous to find out how many eggs will successfully fertilize with Aaron's sperm, and how good of quality our embryos will be. I'm nervous for the egg transfer next week. And, most of all, I'm nervous that our dreams of parenting another child will not be answered with IVF.

But...

Worrying is the opposite of having faith. And faith is what I am holding onto tonight in preparation for tomorrow's procedure. And faith is what I will continue to hold onto until we are told the three most beautiful words. No, not "I love you" (although everybody enjoys hearing that).

But instead, "You are pregnant." :)

Trigger Tonight!

Egg retrieval is a go for Friday morning at 8:00 a.m. sharp, which means tonight is my trigger shot at 8:00 p.m. sharp. Yay!!!

For those of you who don't know, the trigger shot is a shot of HCG, which mimics the LH in a woman's body. LH is the hormone that makes a woman's body ovulate, thus, the trigger shot is going to prepare the body for ovulation.

So, the trigger shot will complete the maturation of my eggs and, right before they ovulate on their own, Dr. Weckstein will go in and retrieve them, which is why the timing of the trigger shot and egg retrieval is so time sensitive. If a few extra hours pass, my body could start ovulating on its own and I'd lose all those good eggs. We obviously can't have that!

As for the results of today's sonogram (my very last one)!

(Drum roll please).

I have 32 follicles!!! I can't believe it! I am miserably bloated and reached a new point of discomfort, so I knew there was a lot going on this past day, but I didn't think that much!

I have 17 follicles on my right side (up 12 from yesterday!), with my largest measuring at 21mm.

I have 15 follicles on my left side (up 11 from yesterday), with my largest measuring at 19mm. I'm really happy to see my left ovary had a strong finish, almost catching up with my right. :)

In total, I have 8 mature follicles right now, with a handful of them almost mature. I was told those would definitely mature after the trigger shot.

Also, just because I will no longer be stimulating my ovaries with the injections, my follicles will still continue to grow, just not at such a rapid pace. My nurse described it as taking my foot off the gas pedal. I'm still moving forward, just not as fast. My body doesn't stop cold turkey and my follicles surely don't remain the same sizes until Friday. A lot of my follicles will reach maturity by Friday's egg retrieval.

I still have quite a few that are in the lower end (like 10mm) that likely won't reach maturity, but Dr. Weckstein will still retrieve them and try to get them to fertilize with Aaron's sperm. He won't let anything go to waste!

Generally, Dr. Weckstein likes to see at least 25% or more of the eggs reach maturity before committing to the egg retrieval. And, if you do the math, 8 is exactly 25% of 32. :)

So, you can imagine I've very excited for the egg retrieval! I'm excited to get these little guys out of me and into the lab where I pray some cell-growing, baby-making magic happens. :)

And, to top off the awesomeness of RSC, because we live pretty far away (1-1/2 hours, depending on traffic), they offered a courtesy stay at a nearby hotel for free, as a part of our IVF package. Because Aaron and I will have to be at the office by 7:00 in the morning to prep for the egg retrieval, they have booked us a stay at Hotel Sierra right down the street. All arrangements have been made, all we have to do is show up!

Photo courtesy of www.hotel-sierra.com.

The only downfall is I will be away from my Ella Bella for the night, and however pathetic it sounds, I will miss her so much, but I know she will be in good hands staying with my parents.