If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans!
Seriously.
Plans never go as...well...planned. Life is just a big bundle of unpredictability. Amen?
I had my "6-week" postpartum appointment yesterday. Obviously, it was more like my 8-week postpartum appointment because my appointment kept getting bounced back. My OB-GYN is a very busy, very popular doctor.
Speaking of which, when I got there, almost every single seat in the waiting room was taken. My doctor had a delivery, so every appointment was delayed 1-1/2 to 2 hours. Fun. Especially since I brought Tristan with me! Luckily, he slept most of the time. :)
It was really hard, though, being surrounded by so many pregnant women. There were six in total, not including the ones that walked in after me. I don't know when I will be able to look at a pregnant woman without that twinge. Not necessarily of jealousy, but of sadness. Sadness to know that I will likely never be pregnant again.
I struck up a conversation with a cute college-aged girl with her mom (her husband was in class). She was 36 weeks along. She immediately started talking about her next pregnancy. I didn't want to tell her there are no guarantees in life, and although she plans to get pregnant right away because she "wants her kids to be close in age," it may not happen. I didn't want to divulge my story to her, so I just smiled.
Once I met with my doctor, he began to tell me about the delivery (if you can call it that) he had earlier that afternoon.
"The baby cost them $30,000 and they lost it."
My heart absolutely sunk to the pit of my stomach. "IVF, obviously?"
"Yes, and they lost the baby at 20 weeks."
There are no guarantees in life.
He then quickly checked my incision line and asked about what birth control I'm going to be on.
When I told him I'm not going on birth control, he completely questioned my decision. I reminded him that Tristan was an IVF baby.
"Do you have your ovaries, tubes and uterus?"
"Yes."
"Does your husband have sperm?"
"Yes, but not very good sperm at all."
Long pause.
"I'll see you in six months for your papsmear and you'll be pregnant."
I have to admit. The thought of his prediction coming true got my heart to race a bit. I'd love to be pregnant again. I'd love to add another child to this family. My heart is so limitless for kids.
So, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what God has in store for this family. We're not going to try, but we're not going to not try. After unsuccessfully getting pregnant the natural way for over 2-1/2 years, it just seems silly and unnecessary to go on birth control, ya know?
There are no guarantees in life.
Showing posts with label OB-GYN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OB-GYN. Show all posts
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tristan's Birthday is Set
Today's ultrasound went really well. Actually, it was the most uneventful one yet, but Tristan's growing like a champ. My OB-GYN measured Tristan's head, stomach and femur bone (the 3 ways to measure how a baby is growing), made sure he was still a boy (no doubt!) and then was done.
Tristan's heartbeat rate wasn't measured, which I would've liked to hear. I didn't get any pictures, which of course I would've loved. I didn't even get to see a profile picture of my little man. Just the top of his humungous head, which, by the way, is right where it's supposed to be. He's face down, bottoms up in me...getting all snug and ready for his big day!
Tristan is measuring 10 to 12 days ahead of his due date! I knew he would be. He is a Johnson! :)
And, the moment we've all been waiting for (well, at least me!)...my repeat c-section has officially been scheduled! Unless he decides to make his grand appearance earlier, Tristan Nathaniel Johnson will be born on Friday, December 2, 2011! The countdown has commenced.
50 days?!?!?!? How is that even possible?
Tristan's heartbeat rate wasn't measured, which I would've liked to hear. I didn't get any pictures, which of course I would've loved. I didn't even get to see a profile picture of my little man. Just the top of his humungous head, which, by the way, is right where it's supposed to be. He's face down, bottoms up in me...getting all snug and ready for his big day!
Tristan is measuring 10 to 12 days ahead of his due date! I knew he would be. He is a Johnson! :)
And, the moment we've all been waiting for (well, at least me!)...my repeat c-section has officially been scheduled! Unless he decides to make his grand appearance earlier, Tristan Nathaniel Johnson will be born on Friday, December 2, 2011! The countdown has commenced.
50 days?!?!?!? How is that even possible?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
It's A...
Healthy, stubborn baby! And, by stubborn, I mean...he/she didn't move ONCE during the entire ultrasound. The back was turned turned upwards, so the baby was looking down, and other than a few hand waves, he/she was contently sleeping. With the legs tightly squeezed. Immovable. Uncooperative. Just sleeping.
Aaron was nervous at first. Since the baby was bigger, it was harder to find the flickering heart right away, and because he/she wasn't moving, he immediately started thinking the worse.
And, I, uncharacteristically, was the calmer one. Mainly because I had felt this baby moving most of the morning and, in fact, during the 1-1/2 hours we had to wait. So, in other words, if the doctor was ON TIME, we likely would've been able to see the goods.
In an effort to get the baby to open those legs up just a little or to get him/her to move into a more cooperative positive for a little looksy, the doctor shook him/her, but there was not even a slight budge. This baby is a deep sleeper...just like Daddy! :)
So, my big gender reveal post will have to *knock on wood* wait until my next scheduled ultrasound on Monday, July 18th.
My doctor had Aaron and me SO convinced at our 13-week ultrasound with the "most likely you're having" prediction he gave us. He looked at our file and saw that he his notes had a strong conviction a month ago, but that he cannot match that today. Simply because there was nothing to see. Nothing.
But, that's all for the complaining, because other than that, our little Johnson is growing right on track and is a healthy little bugger.
The heart rate was 142 bpm. Average.
Baby Johnson measured 18 weeks 2 days. On the calendar, I am 17 weeks 4 days. Above average.
Baby Johnson's femur bone measured to be 1 inch long. Random fact, but interesting.
Baby Johnson weighs a whopping half pound. Woo hoo!
Aaron was nervous at first. Since the baby was bigger, it was harder to find the flickering heart right away, and because he/she wasn't moving, he immediately started thinking the worse.
And, I, uncharacteristically, was the calmer one. Mainly because I had felt this baby moving most of the morning and, in fact, during the 1-1/2 hours we had to wait. So, in other words, if the doctor was ON TIME, we likely would've been able to see the goods.
In an effort to get the baby to open those legs up just a little or to get him/her to move into a more cooperative positive for a little looksy, the doctor shook him/her, but there was not even a slight budge. This baby is a deep sleeper...just like Daddy! :)
So, my big gender reveal post will have to *knock on wood* wait until my next scheduled ultrasound on Monday, July 18th.
My doctor had Aaron and me SO convinced at our 13-week ultrasound with the "most likely you're having" prediction he gave us. He looked at our file and saw that he his notes had a strong conviction a month ago, but that he cannot match that today. Simply because there was nothing to see. Nothing.
But, that's all for the complaining, because other than that, our little Johnson is growing right on track and is a healthy little bugger.
The heart rate was 142 bpm. Average.
Baby Johnson measured 18 weeks 2 days. On the calendar, I am 17 weeks 4 days. Above average.
Baby Johnson's femur bone measured to be 1 inch long. Random fact, but interesting.
Baby Johnson weighs a whopping half pound. Woo hoo!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Can't Stop Smiling
I got to see our baby today! My heart was beating a mile a minute as the image came up on the screen. Not knowing what to expect to see, how much bigger the baby would be, if a flickering heart would be easily visible...scaring myself with every mom-to-be's worst case scenarios...but every worst case scenario quickly dismissed when I saw our baby!
Aaron and I are thrilled beyond words' description with how well he/she is doing!
I'm 9 weeks 3 days pregnant today, and the baby measured at 9 weeks 2 days +/- 3 days, so right on track!
The heart beat came in at a strong, healthy, booming 170 bmp. Our doctor even put the speaker on really loud, so the priceless sound echoed through the entire room. Tears! Goosebumps! I tell ya, the whole works!
I think my all-time favorite, though, was seeing him/her squirm around in there. The hips were moving to and fro, the arms were flailing about. The alien-sized head was bouncing from left to right. The legs were tucked under, so we didn't see any tap dancing today. :)
And, to top it all off, our OB-GYN, Dr. Palitz, is awesome!!! Meeting a brand spankin' new OB-GYN after leaving the comfort of my infertility clinic that knows me through and through was hard, but the second I stepped in and spoke with the receptionist, I knew I was led to the right place. My doctor is amazing! He walked in with jeans and a half-marathon shirt on, completely laid back and easy-going...exactly what this high strung, overly questioning, relentless mama needs.
And, being a sole practitioner for many, many years has given him the opportunity to see and experience all things pregnancy, all things baby, and all things delivery, which is so comforting for me. And, with all that experience comes a knack for guessing a baby's sex early on. So, you can imagine when he blurted out, "I think it's a boy," we were a little taken aback.
"What??? How do you know?"
"I think I can see a little something, but it's hard to see a little something when your baby is so tiny. But, I'm gonna put in your charts boy with a question mark."
Aaron still believes the baby is a girl. Daddy always knows. After all, he was so confident Ella was going to be a girl that he went and bought a pink Baby Gap jumpsuit before finding out Ella was a girl!
Dr. Palitz said everything is just as it should be and the chance of miscarriage is very, very low now. He said he doesn't witness many miscarriages at all after seeing what he saw today. Music to my ears.
We left the office with two big bags filled with baby magazines, pregnancy journals, free samples, and a confidence in our step as we held hands, smiling from ear to ear, soaking in how truly blessed we are.
Aaron and I are thrilled beyond words' description with how well he/she is doing!
I'm 9 weeks 3 days pregnant today, and the baby measured at 9 weeks 2 days +/- 3 days, so right on track!
The heart beat came in at a strong, healthy, booming 170 bmp. Our doctor even put the speaker on really loud, so the priceless sound echoed through the entire room. Tears! Goosebumps! I tell ya, the whole works!
I think my all-time favorite, though, was seeing him/her squirm around in there. The hips were moving to and fro, the arms were flailing about. The alien-sized head was bouncing from left to right. The legs were tucked under, so we didn't see any tap dancing today. :)
And, to top it all off, our OB-GYN, Dr. Palitz, is awesome!!! Meeting a brand spankin' new OB-GYN after leaving the comfort of my infertility clinic that knows me through and through was hard, but the second I stepped in and spoke with the receptionist, I knew I was led to the right place. My doctor is amazing! He walked in with jeans and a half-marathon shirt on, completely laid back and easy-going...exactly what this high strung, overly questioning, relentless mama needs.
And, being a sole practitioner for many, many years has given him the opportunity to see and experience all things pregnancy, all things baby, and all things delivery, which is so comforting for me. And, with all that experience comes a knack for guessing a baby's sex early on. So, you can imagine when he blurted out, "I think it's a boy," we were a little taken aback.
"What??? How do you know?"
"I think I can see a little something, but it's hard to see a little something when your baby is so tiny. But, I'm gonna put in your charts boy with a question mark."
Aaron still believes the baby is a girl. Daddy always knows. After all, he was so confident Ella was going to be a girl that he went and bought a pink Baby Gap jumpsuit before finding out Ella was a girl!
Dr. Palitz said everything is just as it should be and the chance of miscarriage is very, very low now. He said he doesn't witness many miscarriages at all after seeing what he saw today. Music to my ears.
We left the office with two big bags filled with baby magazines, pregnancy journals, free samples, and a confidence in our step as we held hands, smiling from ear to ear, soaking in how truly blessed we are.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A Little Question Never Hurt Anybody
As you all know, my first "graudated" appointment (meaning, not with my RE, but with a regular OB-GYN) was scheduled for Monday, May 16th. That didn't sit well when I made the appointment, and it still didn't sit well to this day. That would've been 3-1/2 weeks of not seeing Jelly Bean during the very vulnerable first trimester. Too long for this mama!
I figured, "What does it hurt to call and see if there happened to be any cancellations?"
I kindly reminded the receptionist that I conceived via IVF (I didn't want to say FET because I didn't know if she'd know what that meant), and that I'm really anxious to see my baby.
And, lo and behold, there is an opening on Tuesday, May 10th!!!
I realize that is only 6 days earlier, and in the grand scheme of things, what's an extra 6-day wait?
But things are different with this pregnancy.
Very, very different.
And, if I have three or four ultrasounds in my first trimester alone, then so be it! :)
I figured, "What does it hurt to call and see if there happened to be any cancellations?"
I kindly reminded the receptionist that I conceived via IVF (I didn't want to say FET because I didn't know if she'd know what that meant), and that I'm really anxious to see my baby.
And, lo and behold, there is an opening on Tuesday, May 10th!!!
I realize that is only 6 days earlier, and in the grand scheme of things, what's an extra 6-day wait?
But things are different with this pregnancy.
Very, very different.
And, if I have three or four ultrasounds in my first trimester alone, then so be it! :)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Waiting Doesn't Stop with the 2 WW
Hands down, the two week wait is the worst. The time from when you might have conceived to the time of finding out if you did is an extremely long wait. I went through many, many of those waits. Believe me, they are the worst!
But, once you do conceive, once those two lines finally appear, the waiting does not end. I thought it would! But, boy, I could not have been more wrong.
You wait for beta results (if you went through infertility treatment, that is).
You wait for your first sonogram.
You wait for your second sonogram.
And, I am now in the process of waiting for my third sonogram.
I'll admit...I was completely spoiled being able to see Jelly Bean at six weeks and then again at seven weeks, but now I have to wait...
...until I'm 10-1/2 weeks.
Yes, you heard right. :(
My first appointment with my new OB-GYN is not until May 16th!!! I was so disappointed when the receptionist said that was the soonest I could get in. It seriously makes me want to call another OB-GYN to see if I could get in sooner, but this office has been favorably recommended by my RE and a couple who also went through IVF, so I'm planning on sticking out the wait.
It just makes me nervous to go that long without seeing my Jelly Bean.
Not knowing what's going on in there! Is he/she growing well? How's his/her heart beating?
Thankfully, my nausea is still in full force, which reminds me that my body is still telling itself that it's pregnant. My fatigue is also putting me to bed the same time as Ella every night. No joke.
But, naturally, I worry when I feel too much stretchy cramps, and then I worry when I feel too little stretchy cramps. I worry when my boobs hurt less one day over another.
However...worry is the opposite of having faith! So, I'm going to put all my faith in God to protect our baby. I pray he will continually bless this pregnancy. He has entrusted this family with this baby, giving us the utmost honor to bring another Johnson into the world, and it's unfair to God for me to worry so much. It's unfair for me to not put all my trust in God.
So, even though I'm going to endure a painfully long wait the next 2-1/2 weeks, I am not going to worry. I am going to keep one hand on my belly and the other lifted up to my God, thanking Him for my Jelly Bean. Because, even though I can't see how he/she is doing in there, God knows. Because, after all...
"[God] created my inmost being; [He] knit me together in my mother’s womb." (Psalm 139:13).
But, once you do conceive, once those two lines finally appear, the waiting does not end. I thought it would! But, boy, I could not have been more wrong.
You wait for beta results (if you went through infertility treatment, that is).
You wait for your first sonogram.
You wait for your second sonogram.
And, I am now in the process of waiting for my third sonogram.
I'll admit...I was completely spoiled being able to see Jelly Bean at six weeks and then again at seven weeks, but now I have to wait...
...until I'm 10-1/2 weeks.
Yes, you heard right. :(
My first appointment with my new OB-GYN is not until May 16th!!! I was so disappointed when the receptionist said that was the soonest I could get in. It seriously makes me want to call another OB-GYN to see if I could get in sooner, but this office has been favorably recommended by my RE and a couple who also went through IVF, so I'm planning on sticking out the wait.
It just makes me nervous to go that long without seeing my Jelly Bean.
Not knowing what's going on in there! Is he/she growing well? How's his/her heart beating?
Thankfully, my nausea is still in full force, which reminds me that my body is still telling itself that it's pregnant. My fatigue is also putting me to bed the same time as Ella every night. No joke.
But, naturally, I worry when I feel too much stretchy cramps, and then I worry when I feel too little stretchy cramps. I worry when my boobs hurt less one day over another.
However...worry is the opposite of having faith! So, I'm going to put all my faith in God to protect our baby. I pray he will continually bless this pregnancy. He has entrusted this family with this baby, giving us the utmost honor to bring another Johnson into the world, and it's unfair to God for me to worry so much. It's unfair for me to not put all my trust in God.
So, even though I'm going to endure a painfully long wait the next 2-1/2 weeks, I am not going to worry. I am going to keep one hand on my belly and the other lifted up to my God, thanking Him for my Jelly Bean. Because, even though I can't see how he/she is doing in there, God knows. Because, after all...
"[God] created my inmost being; [He] knit me together in my mother’s womb." (Psalm 139:13).
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