Hands down, the two week wait is the worst. The time from when you might have conceived to the time of finding out if you did is an extremely long wait. I went through many, many of those waits. Believe me, they are the worst!
But, once you do conceive, once those two lines finally appear, the waiting does not end. I thought it would! But, boy, I could not have been more wrong.
You wait for beta results (if you went through infertility treatment, that is).
You wait for your first sonogram.
You wait for your second sonogram.
And, I am now in the process of waiting for my third sonogram.
I'll admit...I was completely spoiled being able to see Jelly Bean at six weeks and then again at seven weeks, but now I have to wait...
...until I'm 10-1/2 weeks.
Yes, you heard right. :(
My first appointment with my new OB-GYN is not until May 16th!!! I was so disappointed when the receptionist said that was the soonest I could get in. It seriously makes me want to call another OB-GYN to see if I could get in sooner, but this office has been favorably recommended by my RE and a couple who also went through IVF, so I'm planning on sticking out the wait.
It just makes me nervous to go that long without seeing my Jelly Bean.
Not knowing what's going on in there! Is he/she growing well? How's his/her heart beating?
Thankfully, my nausea is still in full force, which reminds me that my body is still telling itself that it's pregnant. My fatigue is also putting me to bed the same time as Ella every night. No joke.
But, naturally, I worry when I feel too much stretchy cramps, and then I worry when I feel too little stretchy cramps. I worry when my boobs hurt less one day over another.
However...worry is the opposite of having faith! So, I'm going to put all my faith in God to protect our baby. I pray he will continually bless this pregnancy. He has entrusted this family with this baby, giving us the utmost honor to bring another Johnson into the world, and it's unfair to God for me to worry so much. It's unfair for me to not put all my trust in God.
So, even though I'm going to endure a painfully long wait the next 2-1/2 weeks, I am not going to worry. I am going to keep one hand on my belly and the other lifted up to my God, thanking Him for my Jelly Bean. Because, even though I can't see how he/she is doing in there, God knows. Because, after all...
"[God] created my inmost being; [He] knit me together in my mother’s womb." (Psalm 139:13).
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11 comments:
Bobbi, I'm in the exact same boat as you. I have written this post a hundred times in my heas (but then my brain didn't work and I forgot it by the time I was actually typing). I have one more "early" scan tomorrow, then I get to visit like a "normal" pregnant woman! I don't know if I like that or not. Ha! Best of luck to you as you wait. If I was closer to you, I'd come hold your hand while you wait. Since I can't, though, I'll send you some extra prayers to cushion your jelly bean. ((Hugs))
Even though I am not pregnant, I can understand this having been and lost one. I already worry about worrying if/when it happens again. The waiting must go sooooooo slllooooowwwww! Won't the RE do another around 8-9wks?!?!?
I remember feeling that way when I was pregnant with both of mine. With my son I got a whole bunch of ultrasounds because of issues I had and then only one with my daughter and it was so hard not to get to see her as much. Pregnancy is nothing but a waiting game, yet it seems to go by really fast.
Every bit of waiting is so difficult... but likely to be worth the wait until your appt if your RE recommended your OB :) I wish pregnancy was so much shorter, so that the wait until holding our little ones safely in our arms was not so far after the 2WW. Love to you always xoxo
I remember this feeling from my earlier pregnancies, and I;m not looking forward to it at all. In some aspects, this wait is even more stressful than the 2WW because the stakes are higher. You need to keep yourself constantly distracted, so that you don't lose your mind, and try not to focus on every single symptom.
And, keep your faith.
I hear ya on that! I had my first ultrasound at 7 weeks and then I didn't get to see the baby until 19 weeks! Hardest thing ever! I hope you start to feel better soon. Keep your faith.
Happy thoughts to you Bobbi!
Can you call your RE and ask them to do one last u/s in between now and 10.5 weeks - just to keep you sane?
Oh waiting is just so hard. Try to keep busy and as one of your previous posts said "keep the faith!"
The whole waiting thing drives me nutso! I'm sitting here waiting to call our RE to schedule for CD3 baseline....waiting...waiting...waiting.
Thinking of you and praying for peace during your pregnancy!
IF can make you crazy- ha! That is a very long wait to endure...but it will make the appt. all that more precious. Turn yourself to God and He will give you rest.
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