28 and 29 Weeks

How Far Along: 29 weeks!

Size of Baby: Tristan is 15 inches long and weighs almost 2-1/2 pounds.

Picture of Baby:  My doctor could not get a good picture of Tristan's face at my last ultrasound, but got a great shot of his foot! (So this is what has been kicking my ribs!).

29 Weeks: Tristan's muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. During this trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in Tristan's hardening skeleton each day. (Information taken from BabyCenter's website).

Weight Gain: It showed that I gained 4 pounds at my last ultrasound (on September 14th), which means I'm gaining an average of a pound each week now. I've gained a total of 11 pounds.

Belly Pic: I feel like I owe you all a belly pic, but I just showered and didn't feel like making myself look more presentable, so you strictly get belly...and a belly that is! :)

Sleep: Surprisingly, sleep is going really well for me right now. I'm getting up 3 to 4 times each night to pee, but I'm able to fall right back asleep.

Best Moment of the Week: Watching Tristan move around on the screen at my ultrasound, feeling him kick / roll more and more, Ella kissing Tristan goodbye more often than not when dropping her off at school.

Movement: My stomach is constantly rolling. I love it!

Symptoms: Mainly heartburn. And I feel swollen, especially with this ongoing 100-degree heat.

Food Cravings: Nothing in particular. I am trying to eat more protein and less carbs (due to my high sugar levels with my 1-hour glucose test), but it's hard when carbs fall more along the lines of what I'm craving.

What I Miss: Bending down comfortably.

What I'm Looking Forward to: Tomorrow's baby shower!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Water, water, water...

Milestones: This is my last week before reaching the 30s. Then, I'm officially in the home stretch. It feels so close, but yet so far!

Emotions: I'm feeling good...really good.

It Felt Like Tristan Wanted to Share Ella's Birthday

Yesterday, Ella's 5th birthday, was the first time I felt real contractions. I'm guessing they were just typical Braxton Hicks contractions that happen throughout a woman's pregnancy, especially during the later part, but they were quite noticeable and painful enough that I decided to keep track of how long and how often.

I didn't exceed the 4 contractions in 1 hour that I was told to watch out for. And the contractions didn't last very long at all, less than 30 seconds, so I just waited for them to pass.

I'm definitely feeling more Braxton Hicks contractions, though, especially when sleeping. In fact, they sometimes wake me up at night. They don't last long, so I mark it as normal.

I had talked to my doctor at my last appointment about this, but he said it's normal. I feel they are getting progressively worse, though, so I'm really hoping these aren't signs of pre-labor. I don't think so, but I'm no expert.

And, even though I knew Tristan wouldn't come into the world on Ella's birthday, I really felt like my body was warning me to take it easy. That even though I wanted to do this and that for Ella on her birthday, that I also have a second child to care for, which means caring for myself.  Tristan is letting me know that he is in there and ready to rock-and-roll.

I'm ready to rock-n-roll, too, little man, but you need to cook just awhile longer.

Plus, you haven't met Ella yet, but I know her really well, and I don't think she would've been very fond of sharing her birthday with you. :) She loves you so much, as any big sister would, but that day is untouchable. :)

It's too bad the next couple weekends and weeks are going to be busy, not allowing me to rest like I'd like to (or need to), but after these next two weeks, I'm going to keep my calendar free, my time relaxed and the only things I will commit to are caring for my family and getting the nursery ready.

As Ella would say, "Boo-yah!"

Hell and Back

Okay, I'm not usually one to compare something to Hell, but I believe in Heaven and Hell, and I believe Hell would be as follows:

An overly-stuffed small waiting room of rude, smelly, oversized, unsanitary people who don't understand the concept of personal hygene, who are all stuffed like sardines along the walls in the most uncomfortable chairs (especially for a pregnant woman), who are all impatiently waiting and overly rude causing a scene each time their name is not the next one called next.  And, all the while sitting in this unbearable environment, being completely hungry since having to fast and then nauseas from drinking a glucose solution a.k.a. flat, syrupy Orange Crush soda, and then being stabbed (okay, poked, but I'm going for dramatic here!) 6 times in 4 hours (yes, my vein was missed 2 times).

So, I went to Hell and back yesterday. But, hey, I survived the 3-1/2 hours of it, and now to wait.

My doctor will receive my results next week. If things don't look good, I will be getting a call to come in before my next ultrasound appointment, which is scheduled for October 14th. If my levels are within passing range, I won't be getting that call. In other words, no news is good news.

Fingers crossed for no news!

Pass the Glucose Test or Bust

And, well, I bust.

I got my results this past week at my monthly ultrasound appointment and my numbers came in at 133. My doctor doesn't like to see anything above 130, so I wasn't that far off, but the ideal range is somewhere between 90 and 110. I know...yikes!

And, honestly, I felt like something was off. I have been exceptionally tired lately (which, translates, into moody...right, honey?). I feel the sugar high and the immediate sugar crash. I have to eat every couple hours, which is normal (I think) for a pregnant woman in her third trimester, and although my snacks have been okay (yogurt, granola bar, almonds, etc.), with an occasional unhealthy alternative, my main meals have not been.

My doctor would not like me to eat cereal in the morning anymore, due to the hidden sugar in it. He would also like me to limit my bread intake. I have been eating A LOT of bread. Sour dough bread, in particular. And, even though I make veggie sandwiches with the bread, I'm still eating more than I should.

And, perhaps the biggest adjustment is eating more protein. He doesn't think I'm getting enough in my diet. And, he's probably right. I'm not really a meat eater, and I don't think I've been making proper substitutions to account for that. If I eat more protein, I will stay filled up longer, and I won't go through the vicious sugar high / sugar crash cycle.

So, instead of my usual veggie sandwich on sourdough bread, I'm now forcing myself to eat an egg / turkey sandwich on wheat.

And, because I didn't pass the 1-hour glucose test, I have to take the 3-hour glucose test this Wednesday.

Lord, have mercy, Wednesday morning is going to be rough.

First off, the three days leading up to my test (so today, tomorrow and Tuesday), I have to eat what I usually would, but then I have to add one item from each of the following groups:

Group #1:

• 2 slices of bread
• 1 cup of cooked rice
• 1 cup of cooked noodles
• 2 corn tortillas

Group #2:

• 10 oz. of apple juice
• 8 oz. of grape juice
• 2 small bananas
• 16 oz. of orange juice

So, today I ate my usual meals and snack foods, and added 2 slices of bread and a tall glass of apple juice.

I have to fast for 8 hours prior to my test, which isn't a big deal when the test is scheduled for first thing in the morning. When I arrive, I have my first blood draw of the morning before drinking the oh-so-tasty glucose solution. Once I drink the glucose solution, I then have to have blood draws at exactly 1 hour, 2 hours and 3 hours past consumption.

4 blood draws in 3 hours!!!

I am so not looking forward to Wednesday morning, and I pray my body doesn't fail me again.

Ella's Newly Formed Fearfulness

I think Ella is a late blossomer in this new phase of her personality. Shyness. And, it's not really just shyness, it's extreme attachment. And, it's mainly to me.

She was amazingly brave the first day of kindergarten. Not a tear was shed (from her eyes, at least). No looking back to see where we went. No hesitation in jumping into whatever was asked of her. A completely happy-go-lucky, fearless attitude was displayed.

But this fearlessness has subsided, and in its place has come this new side of Ella.

Attachment.

Fear.

Shyness.

A couple weeks after starting kindergarten, we introduced Ella to Sparkies. If you remember, Ella joined AWANA last year and absolutely LOVED Cubbies (the 3 to 4 year old AWANA club). Well, as a kindergartner this year, she got bumped up to join Sparkies (the club for K through 2nd graders). We dropped her off the first night thinking she'd be just fine. She sat down in this huge room of her rowdy peers, looked back to blow us a kiss and do her goofy little wave, and showed the brave, independent personality we had grown to accept from her.

We left with her smiling.

But, when it came time to go to Sparkies the following week, we saw a complete 180 in Ella.

She said she was scared and that she didn't want to go. She said she was shy in meeting new friends and that she didn't know anybody. She was counting down the days 'til she had to go again, not because she was excited, but because she was scared.

We didn't know quite how to react to this because we had never seen this side of her before.

And then, she started disliking kindergarten. The past two weeks, every time I've had to leave her crying (and do you know how hard that is???). She would cling. She would not want to leave me. She would cause a scene and then become embarrassed with the attention she was bringing herself, and bury her head even further into me.

I would ask her why she doesn't like kindergarten, and her only explanation was that she missed me. She complained of the seats being cold and not knowing what to do all the time, but it always circled back to her saying she missed me.

The tears both she and I have shed the past couple weeks are countless. I threw up in the car from crying so hard after dropping her off at Sparkies (thank you, pregnancy!). Just witnessing her sitting with her head in her hands, bright red, trying to hold back tears, but not being able to. The desperate look of asking me to make her feel better, to help her feel comfortable, to hug and hold her, but simply walking away. Leaving her to find comfort herself.

She and I prayed many times these past couple weeks. And, goodness, her prayers bring on a whole new level to my already breaking heart. Maturely and quietly she would pray, "Dear God, please help me be strong and brave. I know I'm shy, but please help me try my hardest. Amen."

And despite her cold, clammy hands and heldback tears, she's pulling through. She's slowly becoming the outgoing, fearless girl we once knew. This setback was quite unexpected, and as parents, it made us question ourselves. Are we pushing her too hard? Should we not make her go to Sparkies? Did we put her in kindergarten too soon? Should we have waited a year? After all, she is still only 4 years old.

But, deep down, we both know Ella is fine. Every time we pick her up from kindergarten or Sparkies, she would say she had fun (but then when it came time to go again, she'd have reservations, cling and cry). I talked with the Sparkies leader and her kindergarten teacher, and both say she eventually calms down ("she'll feel better when she feels better") and moves onto being her happy, bubbly, charismatic self. It's just too bad we don't get to see it. We just see the tears.

It'll be nice when taking her to sunday school on Sunday mornings isn't an emotional ordeal, and this is the last face we see.

It'll be amazing when I can drop her off at kindergarten with a huge hug, kiss and smile, and Puppy can stay home instead of be stuffed in her backpack to help comfort her.

It'll be a breath of fresh air when Wednesday nights are not dreaded, but instead a happy time, as we take Ella to Sparkies.

Until then, all we can do is reinforce how much we love her, how proud we are of her and continue to push her, giving her the confidence she needs to get through this rough patch.

And work through the tears (and tear-induced nausea!).

27 Weeks

How Far Along: 27 weeks!

Size of Baby: Tristan is 14-1/2 inches long and weighs almost 2 pounds.

Picture of Baby: None.

27 Weeks: Tristan is sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing his eyes, and perhaps even sucking his fingers. With more brain tissue developing, Tristan's brain is very active now. While his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if he were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements I may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. (Information taken from BabyCenter's website).

Weight Gain: Yes, I'm gaining! No, I don't know how much.

Belly Pic: It's not a very good picture of me, but this was taken yesterday at a mom's group I'm joining at my church. Ella loves to love on Tristan. Hopefully that will remain even after he's born. :)

Sleep: The good part about having a bad night's sleep is that I know I'll be so tired the next night that I'll sleep very well. So, yes, I have an alternating pattern to my sleep. That means, tonight will most likely be a bad night. :(

Best Moment of the Week: Ella hugging my belly and talking to Tristan, telling him that he's so cute and that he's the best brother.

Movement: My stomach is constantly rolling. I love it!

Symptoms: Well, I still throw up when I cry (I'll save that story for another day), and I get exhausted / winded pretty easily. My back cannot put up with me vacuuming or mopping anymore, so darn, looks like I get to throw in the white flag on those chores. :)

Food Cravings: I no longer crave ice cream like I used to. I actually don't have major cravings. I just know that I'm eating every couple hours because I get hungry.

What I Miss: Nothing.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My ultrasound on Wednesday. Yay! Oh, and receiving *knock on wood* good results from this past week's glucose test.

Weekly Wisdom: Nothing to share this week.

Milestones: Officially in the 3rd trimester. (I think?).

Emotions: I'm happy there's a little boy growing inside of me, but boy oh boy, is this pregnancy making me quite emotional. (Again, more on this story later).

The Type of Mom I Want to Be

You know, the picture-perfect, cookie-cutter mom that always seems to have it all together.

Her hair is always styled.

(If I don't straighten mine, it looks like a rat's nest...yes, that is the designated term my husband has kindly given my hair).

Her make-up perfectly done.

(It's only because I have to work that I take the time to do my make-up).

Her accessories completing her outfit.

(What accessories? And outfit? I rotate the same clothes over and over and over again).

The type of mom that has her kids perfectly matching in suit, all well-behaved and with obedient attitudes.

(Pssssh! Please! I have one kid I can barely get dressed in the morning in a matching outfit, who rolls her eyes at me every time I say anything she doesn't want to hear).

The type of mom that is well-organized, never forgetful, perfectly tending to her family's needs, while still maintaining her own needs.

(Although well-organized, I'm frazzled to the core. And even though I tend to my family's needs, I often don't do so gracefully).

The type of mom who can pass as a gourmet chef, not Chef Boyardee.

(I'm guilty of making the same things all the time, and they surely are not gourmet).

The type of mom whose house is always tidy, the beds are always made and the toilets are always clean.

(Do I even need to comment on this one?).

And all of that is done with French manicure tips!

(My nails are chipped, with dirt under them and haven't been manicured since my wedding over six years ago!).

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm not a good mom. I am very devoted to my role as mom (perhaps a little too much so, if I have to be honest), but sometimes I feel like I'm failing.

I guess I just don't feel like I have it all together all the time.

Being a Type A personality, it's hard to not feel in control. And to not feel like I'm putting my best foot forward.

I feel like I'm doing everything at half capacity. I don't know how to explain it. Perhaps it's the pregnancy that's absorbing all of my gusto, making me feel like a slow-moving whale. Perhaps I'm still adjusting to my new work schedule, where I don't get home until 6:00 in the evening, and the dinner / dishes / homework / bath / story routine consumes all our time, leaving the three of us with no family time (although Aaron and I both get separate alone time with Ella).

Life just feels different since Ella started kindergarten, and I guess it's taking me longer than what is probably an acceptable amount of time, to get used to it. Getting used to spending an hour on the road driving to and from Ella's school and my work everyday is difficult for me.

Perhaps it's the heat. This near-100 degree heat...every...single...day...is really starting to play a toll on me. It's been miserable!

Perhaps it's feeling unlike myself in my ability to take care of my family. I can't mop. I can't vacuum. I can't do anything that requires using my lower back (which is so much!). And, everything I do, seems to be taking longer and more of an effort. I get exhausted quite easily.

I don't quite know what the point is to this post other than to say that I'm struggling a little, I guess. I see other moms and women who seem to just have it all together, and I'm feeling like I'm left behind a little.

However, seeing the changes I want to make in my day-to-day living has given me the desire and drive to make those changes. And, so, I have become more intentional in things.

From actually looking up recipes and making dinners in advance to having the living area picked up of all toys before bedtime.

From taking the time to put some effort into my appearance (goodbye with the rat's nest, hello to eye shadow) to keeping up with laundry.

From organizing my life in a daily planner (rather than through sticky notes, a wall calendar and *gasp* my memory) to keeping a responsibility chart to help with Ella's "growing-up-ness" (a.k.a. 4 going on 14 attitude).

With these minor changes, and keeping to them, I have begun to feel better about myself.  I never want to feel like I'm not putting my best foot forward for both myself and my family, and rather than sulking in the "I wish I had" slumps, I'm making changes, and God is giving me the courage and drive to make those changes.

And, even though I will never be the mom with French manicure tips, I can at least make sure my nails are clean. Get what I'm sayin'? And, even though I'm getting-bigger-by-the-day pregnant, I can still provide for my family and give them the best I've got, which some days may not be much, but at least I know I'm putting my best foot forward.

Now, as for having it all together...

Who has that? Really? :)

The Many Levels of Ella

Lazy Ella (and Bob) - watching her morning episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Angry Ella - being disciplined by Daddy for yelling at him.

Imaginative Ella - playing in her fort.

See Bob? :)

Goofy Ella - playing dress-up with her old soccer shin guards (that hardly fit her anymore).

Even goofier Ella.

Playful (and patient) Ella - waiting for Mommy to put the camera down to go in her bedroom and play.

Fish Ella - willingly allowing me to take a picture of her before her afternoon swim with Daddy.

Daddy's girl Ella - enjoying quality time with Daddy.

Smart Ella - writing her last name for the first time without any guidance.

Independent Ella - dressing herself every morning (and usually matching!).

Girly Ella - getting her nails done with hot pink glitter nail polish (can't get any girlier than that!).

Kindergarten Ella - showing off her latest art project and telling us about stop lights. And yes, as she reminded me after speeding through a yellow light, "Yellow means wait, even when late!"

Glowing Ella after her haircut.

There are many, many more levels to this almost 5-year old, but this is enough for now (and these are the only ones that go along with pictures I took this past week!).

26 Weeks

How Far Along: 26 weeks!

Size of Baby: Tristan is 14 inches and weighs approximately 1-2/3 pounds.

Picture of Baby: None.

26 Weeks: The network of nerves in Tristan's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both my and Aaron's voice as we chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. (Information taken from BabyCenter's website).

Weight Gain: Yes, I'm gaining! No, I don't know how much.

Belly Pic: Tristan is taking over my belly!

Sleep: One night I can get the best sleep, the next night I toss and turn until the sun begins to rise. I feel pretty well rested, though. I'm very tired by the end of the day if I don't get a good night's sleep the night before.

Best Moment of the Week: Many, many good moments...most involving feeling Tristan move and noticing his patterns (like, kicking a lot when Ella is crying really loud or "napping" shortly after eating a big meal).

Movement: Some days Tristan is non-stop moving, some days not so much. My stomach is starting to roll with his movement now. Along with the kicks and jabs, Tristan is constantly rolling. Earthquake!

Symptoms: Heartburn is still an issue, and my lower back is starting to hurt more. I also get winded more easily (walking at Aaron's pace at the store is near impossible now). And, need I remind you of pregnancy brain? :)

Food Cravings: Sour dough bread. I can't get enough of it! More specifically, avocado/cucumber sandwiches. :) 

What I Miss: Nothing.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My glucose test was postponed to this coming Wednesday. Looking forward to getting that done with. And, I'm looking forward to rocking third trimester! :)

Weekly Wisdom: It's never too early for Braxton Hicks contractions. I felt tightness and discomfort yesterday, even when resting (usually I feel that when I'm walking around a lot), and it concerned me a bit. But, staying hydrated and resting really helped and I felt much better today. I'm for sure going to talk to my doctor about this at my next appointment, though. 

Milestones: Making it down to two double digits in days left! Can't believe it! Also, is 26 weeks considered the 3rd trimester? If so, that's a huge milestone, too! :)

Emotions: Happy, but hormonal, so my emotions are up, down and all over the place. Don't believe me? Ask poor Aaron. :)