Lately I've been feeling this strong urge to write about comparison and perspective in my life.
I have always had comparison issues.
Growing up, I compared myself to my sister. I would interpret my less social personality as a fault compared to my sister's over-the-top, fearless nature of participating in and excelling in everything.
In high school, I compared my grades with those of my classmates, always wanting to excel not necessarily for myself, but to prove to others and my parents how smart I could be.
In college, I compared my body to those of the tan, plastic Barbie bodies found only in San Diego.
As a married woman, I now compare my home to other married couple's homes. I compare my relationship with Aaron to the relationships other married couples share.
As a mom, I compare my little family to the growing families of other young married couples. I look at how "together" some moms have it or how lucky some are to have 2, 3 or even 4 children, when I feel I am far from perfect as Ella's mom, and I can't even conceive a second baby!
As a Christian, I compare my faith to other's. I feel my faith is so weak and easily turned away compared to the steadfast, sturdy, unfailing faith of others. I try to live a life pleasing to God, in ways that come so easily to others, but I seem to fail time and time again.
However, perspective is different than comparison.
When comparing, I focus on what I don't have. And I see what I do have in a negative, ungrateful light. I look at what other people have, instead of being indifferent to what others have and focusing on what I have right in front of me.
In my opinion, perspective is a view of something, without a comparative nature. Someone's perspective is his or her outlook on something, without regarding outside factors to determine that outlook. For example, a color can be blue, but when next to a darker blue, by comparison, that blue now becomes a lighter blue.
My perspective on my life, without any comparison, is really, really good. I have a wonderful life!
I have a husband who loves and adores me, who will fight for me, lead me and carry me through good and bad times.
I have the most precious daughter, who literally is my beating heart walking outside my body
I have a great job that provides me with the flexible hours and experience that I need.
I have my health.
I have wonderful family that value and appreciate me.
I am a proud homeowner of a beautiful home.
And, I have my faith, no matter how big or small, it is my faith. I have a relationship with God unique to me.
Because, you see, I am lacking nothing. God has blessed me immeasurably more than I could've ever imagined or ever deserved, but yet I still want more. What is wrong with me???
I have to stop looking resentfully at others because that means I'm falling into the all too familiar zone of comparing. I need to step out of this zone, take a deep breath, and maintain a strong perspective of my beautiful life.
Because, really, I have a beautiful life.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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5 comments:
I think out of human nature we compare.
We compare everything, as you said.
It is good to take a step back and take in all we are blessed to have.
I wish I would do it more and not get so caught up in what I "want"
Beautiful post.
I love this post! I often find myself comparing my life to the lives of my peers. I can't stand it! Like you, I would love to just focus on what I do have. I think when we step back and look at our lives in terms of what is going right instead of what is going wrong we are almost always surprised at just how good we have it!
*love this*
Great post! I was listening to an interview on Family Life Network the other day with Susie Larson, author of "growing grateful kids", and she discussed this very same thing...she likened it to "the sin of comparison" and how it breeds discontent in our lives.
I know I'm guilty of it: I think most people are. We forget just how good we have it.
What a great insightful post, I really enjoyed it and there is so much truth to it. I have to refrain from comparing myself or my situation to others otherwise I would grow bitter and angry (in some cases). On the other hand, sometimes it makes you appreciate what you have, but I think using a little perspective is the way to go, for sure. xoxoxoxoxoxox
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