I'm tired, period. I'm tired of allowing myself to gain hope each month only to be crushed over and over again, period. I'm tired of crying and feeling insecure about myself, period. I'm tired of the person I become when I lose hope and reality sets in, period. I'm just tired.
As you can well guess, my period came. God...why??? I know that answer will be revealed in time, but right now, I'm just trying to remain strong with the faith that it will happen! I WILL GET PREGNANT...whether it be "6 months or 6 years from now" (as Aaron said), but in my heart of hearts, I know God will provide. He always has and always will. He has never let me down, and I'm not going to start doubting Him now, no matter how difficult the circumstances are.
So, now onto the intrauterine insemination (IUI) in a couple weeks. I pray this does the trick. My infertility is unexplained, as my doctor says. All the tests have come back fine. And if the IUI doesn't work (which we may need to do a few times), my doctor is going to refer me to a infertility specialist. The IUI isn't cheap, so realistically, I don't know how many times we'll be able to afford to have it done. Hopefully just once!
(These pictures were taken when Aaron, Ella and I went camping at Patrick's Point State Park in June 2008. Ella was 1 year 9 months old. I think we need to go back...and soon!)
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