9 Weeks

How Far Along: 9 weeks!

Size of Baby:  On average 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches and 0.07 oz. (The size of a strawberry). My big ol' baby bump would suggest otherwise, though!

Picture of Baby: Here is what a fetus looks like at nine weeks. I will post ultrasound pictures of Jelly Bean after my appointment on the 10th. :)

9 Weeks - Baby Johnson, now about the size of a green olive, has grown about an inch since last week. Tiny muscles are beginning to form, so while he/she might not be ready to pump iron, he/she is gearing up to move his arms and legs. It's still too soon to feel anything in your belly, but you might be able to hear something at your next checkup. Try listening for your baby's heartbeat via a Doppler device — that welcome sound should be audible anytime now.  (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Still need to go shopping. I keep putting it off!

Weight Gain: I didn't gain or lose this week. Still down about four pounds since the day of the FET. Don't look it, though!

Belly: Definitely looking and feeling pregers!

Stretch Marks: I have them, but none from this pregnancy...yet!

Sleep: Sleep was good this past week. I've noticed my energy has come up (a little), and I'm able to stay up a little past Ella's bed time. :)

Best Moment of the Week: Ella calling herself "Big Sister" all the time.

Movement: Can't wait! :)

Symptoms: I had absolutely no nausea on Wednesday. It scared me! Aaron told me to take it as a blessing. Despite how awful it is to feel nauseous all the time, I enjoy the constant reminder that I'm pregnant. Needless to say, I spoke too soon, and after eating a hearty dinner (since I felt so good), I threw it all up. I woke up the next morning to full on nausea again. :) Other than nausea, I have the heavy pulling / stretching / growing feelings that let me know that things are busy down there. :)

Food Cravings: I saw ice cream sandwiches at Costco that we just had to buy. I've had one at least every other night.

Gender: Aaron and Ella think we're having a girl. I think it's a boy.

What I Miss: Nothing I can think of!

What I'm Looking Forward to: Seeing Jelly Bean in just four short days! Oh, and celebrating Mother's Day as a mom of two for the first time. :)

Weekly Wisdom: Even if you don't feel nauseous, stick to small meals! Otherwise, the whole thing is just gonna come right back up!

Milestones: I was hoping I could put that I no longer need progesterone supplements, but that's not the case. So, just making it another week is milestone enough for me! :)

Emotions: Happy!

Progesterone Level Not High Enough

My progesterone level is only 22.7.

In the first trimester, a healthy progesterone level is between 9 and 47.

When my progesterone level was taken when I had my blood draw for my second beta, it was 20. I would've thought with all the progesterone I've been pumping into my body, it would've increased more, but nope.

22.7 it is.

The nurse said it's not a worrisome number. If my doctor was concerned, he would've had me increase my progesterone dosages, but he's having me keep everything the same for a week and then go in for another blood test.

I'm just scared my level's not increasing fast enough. It hardly went up at all in five weeks!

My nurse explained that it's a good thing that it didn't decrease, even if it didn't increase all that much. She said that my body will soon take over making the necessary progesterone the baby needs and I will no longer need the supplemental treatment.

As you can see in the below graph, on average, the progesterone level for nine weeks is somewhere between 25.9 and 30.0. I'm not too far behind.

For those of you who don't know, progesterone is such an important hormone to maintain a pregnancy. When progesterone levels are too low or decrease, it is a sign of an impending miscarriage.

All in all, I'm not concerned. I guess I was just expecting my levels to have increased more and for me to be in the clear to stop my injections and inserts, but it looks like I have at least another week. I know Nurse Aaron will be thrilled. :)

My Hair Smells Like Progesterone

I have still been keeping up with my nightly PIO injections, along with twice a day Prometrium inserts. The inserts aren't so bad - just somewhat of a nuisance. But, those shots! Those massive, thick shots of progesterone in oil are killing me.

My RE had told me I have to keep with my progesterone and estrogen (I'm taking Estradiol twice a day, too) treatment because, if I stopped, I would miscarry. He told me it's like feeding my baby. These hormones are necessary to keep this pregnancy healthy and the baby happy.

And a happy baby is a happy mommy, despite my bruised, lumpy, inflamed, rocks-under-the-skin butt cheeks.

When a woman conceives naturally, her body produces the right levels of hormones.  But, when going through FET, my body didn't produce anything. My body was forced not to ovulate. My ovaries were suppressed. The only hormones in my body were those being pumped in artificially.

But, when a pregnancy reaches around nine weeks, the placenta begins producing the hormones.

I had my blood drawn today to see where my levels are, and will get the results tomorrow. If all is as it should be (knock on wood), tonight marked my last injection!

And, if it's not, then that's okay, too! I'm willing to do anything to keep my baby healthy. Anything.

A Little Question Never Hurt Anybody

As you all know, my first "graudated" appointment (meaning, not with my RE, but with a regular OB-GYN) was scheduled for Monday, May 16th. That didn't sit well when I made the appointment, and it still didn't sit well to this day. That would've been 3-1/2 weeks of not seeing Jelly Bean during the very vulnerable first trimester. Too long for this mama!

I figured, "What does it hurt to call and see if there happened to be any cancellations?"

I kindly reminded the receptionist that I conceived via IVF (I didn't want to say FET because I didn't know if she'd know what that meant), and that I'm really anxious to see my baby.

And, lo and behold, there is an opening on Tuesday, May 10th!!!

I realize that is only 6 days earlier, and in the grand scheme of things, what's an extra 6-day wait?

But things are different with this pregnancy.

Very, very different.

And, if I have three or four ultrasounds in my first trimester alone, then so be it! :)

Feeling Guilty

There has been a lot of unwanted news in the blogging community lately. A lot of failed cycles. A lot of pregnancy losses. And, especially for Angie, who is experiencing a huge heart break after discovering her baby's heart stopped beating (she was roughly a week ahead of me), a lot of questions of, "Why?" have been floating around.

After reading about infertile women still struggling, still crying themselves to sleep at nights, still dreaming of that second line, I can't help but feel a sense of guilt.

That was me just a few weeks ago.

(Wow! What a difference a few weeks can make!).

My struggle leading to where I am was by no means easy. I suffered so much. And, even though I'm pregnant, the pain is still raw. This pregnancy feels so unreal, like, sometimes I have to remind myself that it's actually finally happening! That my time has finally come! And each day that passes in this pregnancy, the pain becomes less prominent while I allow the happiness to fully seep in.

But, I still feel guilty that my time has come and that so many women are still left struggling. Even though I am allowing happiness to soak in, I can't help but feel so much sadness for everybody still struggling. I still have the heart of an infertile woman, even though my womb is no longer empty. I still feel that pain. It doesn't just disappear after two lines.

And every time I read a story about somebody's cycle not working, I want to help ease their pain, but there is nothing I can do, other than allow my story be a beacon of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.