“Textbook Perfect”

It's been a week since my surgeries.  My pain is down to zero.  Woo hoo!  I can't really stretch completely, but give it another few days, and I'm sure I'll be good as new.  My throat, however, is a different story!

I had my post-op appointment today and I asked my doctor why my throat was hurting so bad.  It feels like strep throat, but without the fever.  I can't swallow food or drink liquids without putting myself through tons of pain.  My doctor said the reason is because the anesthesiologist had put one catheter down my throat to insufflate me with carbon dioxide, but for whatever reason, didn't like that one, so she removed it and put in another.  Dr. Dekhordi knew I'd be feeling that for awhile, and she was right.  Ouch!!!

Dr. Dekhordi showed me pictures of my insides.  All I saw was lots of red and pink while she pointed to things and said what they were - my ovaries, my fallopian tubes, etc.  I just nodded and said, "Oh, okay," unsuccessfully seeing what she was seeing  She said everything is "textbook perfect," that the pictures could be in an anatomy textbook.  There is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with my reproductive organs!!!

Aaron and I are still not quite sure what our next step is.  A part of us wants to relax and lay low the next couple months...finding the romance in our relationship again, and not focusing on "timing" sex around the time of ovulation.  But then another part of us wants to "get 'er done!!!"  We both don't want this trying-to-conceive phase in our life to continue any longer.  We're so ready to move onto the miraculous nine months of pregnancy.  So, we may try naturally during these summer months, we may not.  We may meet with the infertility specialist and start hormone treatment (shots, etc.), we may not.  These shots are quite pricey, and quite not covered by insurance.

We have a good chunk of money in savings.  It's called the "Johnson Baby #2 Fund."  We've already spent a ton of money on all my doctor visits, my IUI, my countless rounds of Clomid, my hysterosalpingogram, and now my laparoscopy / hysteroscopy / D&C, but the remainder of this money is going to sit there until Aaron and I decide what to do (if we don't conceive naturally).

I am seeking God through all of this.  Before making any decision, I pray for God to weigh in my heart what I need to do.  I prayed for God's guidance with all of the steps I've taken thus far, and He has definitely provided.  Even though I'm not pregnant, He has given me the opportunity to see that I am healthy and my body is fully capably of bearing a second child.  The beauty of being fertile, regardless of how long it takes to conceive, is something I shouldn't take for granted.  There are so many women who absolutely cannot have their own children and have to resort to adoption.  I have my Ella and I have my reproductive health.  So, while Aaron and I decide what to do next, I will continue to pray and faithfully look to God for His guidance.