Holy Cow, I'm Going to Have Two Kids!

Obviously, I'm very aware of the fact that I'll be a mom of two kids. And, I'm over-the-moon happy that I get to finally give Ella a younger sibling. That we finally get to be a family of four. That this long-awaited dream is finally about to come true!

But, I guess as we continue to slowly get ready for the little guy, the thought of being a mom of two kids is starting to settle in more. It used to be such an abstract thought, but it's become very real now. And, I think I'm starting to feel uneasy about how this family will adjust to this new life.

It's always just been the three of us. The three amigos! The three musketeers! (You get the picture). Ella's never had to deal with sharing Mommy or Daddy. We have completely revolved our days around Ella and her needs / wants. She's been the center of our lives since she was born, and she knows it. She feels the attention and love we constantly give her.

But now, this attention and love will be shared between her and Tristan. And honestly, I'm a little bit scared. I don't want to completely flip Ella's world upside down. I want the transition into having a baby brother be an easy, natural and happy experience for her. But, I know my Ella. And, I'm fearful that this may not be so easy for her.

I know I have an infinite amount of love stored in my beating Mommy heart. I'm not afraid that I won't have enough love to give to both of them. No way! I guess I'm afraid Ella will not feel as much love because she will see that it'll be shared. Despite there being unlimited love, there is only one Mommy and one Daddy, and I don't want Ella to feel any less love because the love is being shared with her baby brother.

Ella has been very involved in this pregnancy. She's very aware that Tristan will soon be here. She loves on him, hugs him, tells him sweet nothings, but the idea of having an actual baby brother is abstract. It's not real to her yet. She knows what a baby is and she knows what a brother is, but she doesn't know what it means for her in her life. How things are gonna change.

And, it wasn't until I hung up two hooks with two bath towels for two kids in our bathroom that the idea fully settled into my gut. Even Aaron saw the look on my face and was like, "Are you okay?"

My response, "I just can't believe we're finally going to have two kids."

Our pink bunny and our chunky monkey.

So, my prayer and goal are to let Ella always know she's still my #1 girl. She's still the love of my life. And no baby brother will ever take away from the huge imprint she has in my heart. And, I hope that I will be able to show her what infinite love really is. That, even though she will now be sharing my love with Tristan, that my love is immeasurable and indefinite. She is getting no less. Time, on the other hand, is a totally different story.

In any case, saying I'm going to be the mom of two kids feels so good! Soooooo good! :)