I'm talking about testing for birth defects.
At my last OB-GYN appointment, Aaron and I were presented with the choice of pursuing birth defect testing. The first blood draw has to be between 10 weeks and 13 weeks and 6 days. The second blood draw has to be between 15 and 20 weeks of pregnancy. The two blood test results are then combined and we are given our baby's risk assessments for down syndrome, trisomy 18, neural tube defects (such as spina bifida), etc.
With Ella, we were also given the choice to pursue testing, and we opted not to. We had no worries whatsoever.
And, really, this time around I don't have any worries.
But, at the same time, I sure would love to do the testing and have everything come back fine.
But, what if it didn't? Aaron and I would not consider aborting our baby. No way, no how! Our doctor said it's good to know in advance to mentally prepare ourselves, rather than waiting the day of our baby's birth to find out something is "off."
Even though I agree with that idea, I am a firm believer that this baby is a gift from God. He is entrusting us to be this child's parents. Be it a boy or a girl, mentally healthy or not, it is the child God intended for us to raise in this family. I don't need to mentally prepare myself for that.
Plus, the statistics are very low.
According to March of Dimes, the following statistics hold:
- At age 25, the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 1,250.
- At age 30, the risk is 1 in 1,000.
- At age 35, the risk is 1 in 400.
- At age 40, the risk is 1 in 100.
- At age 45, the risk is 1 in 30.
I'm 27 years old.
Trisomy 18 is a harder pill to swallow. Children born with Trisomy 18 suffer severe mental retardation, heart defects and other health problems. They usually die early on: 30% by 1 month of age, 50% by 2 months of age and 90% die by 12 months of age. Sad, huh?
But, it is still not my place to "terminate" a life. Only God can give life and take life away.
My OB-GYN was such a strong advocate for testing - it made me second guess myself! He told me based on this ultrasound, he does not see any red flags, but that he always tells his patients to test. Well, we'll see if this patient decides to! :)
And, if you recall, I had some testing done before my IVF cycle, and it was determined that I am a carrier for cystic fibrosis. That came as quite a shock! Aaron did preliminary testing, and thank God, he is NOT a carrier.
However, because insurance wouldn't cover the more extensive testing and we were already forking out thousands of dollars for infertility treatment, we chose not to pursue the more extensive testing. Our doctor told us that given that I'm a carrier and Aaron's preliminary testing was fine but further testing wasn't done, we have a 1 in 500 chance of having a kid with cystic fibrosis.
Yet some more numbers to worry about.
I refuse to live in fear for the next six months, though. There are always scary statistics to throw at vulnerable people, especially pregnant women. Heck, each of us carry a statistic over our heads every time we get in our car.
So, even though our minds aren't completely made up on birth defect testing, writing this post helped me see where I really stand. Thank you for listening. :)
6 comments:
Yeah, this is tough. For Sure!
We decided to go ahead and get tested because we'd like to know if there is something wrong as early as possible. Not because we'd abort, but it would give us 6+ months to prepare and do research.
In the end, you have to do what is right for you. For me, I'd rather know than not know. But, oh, it's scary.
I have my testing next week, so I'm holding out for a good screening.
I think the best advice is to trust your gut. Deep down you'll know what is best for you and your family... just go with it. Here's to 6 months of enjoying that little life growing inside of you! So happy for you, Bobbi :)
When I was pregnant with my son we decided to test and like you would not have aborted regardless of the results but wanted to know in order to be more informed. So that if we were dealing with something we could have everything ready and mentally prepare ourselves for anything that was to come. But at the same time I agree with all of your doubts about testing too, sometimes you can never truly prepare for obstacles in life, God will never give you something you can't handle! With that said, I don't regret it at all. If anything it was a really awesome 3D u/s. I read a women's blog http://www.kellehampton.com/p/nellas-birth-story.html, it's amazing. She was 31 and did not do any of the testing and found out the day she had her daughter that she had down syndrome. It's a beautiful beautiful story but that day definitely rocked her world. Not sure if testing makes it any easier though? It's such a personal decision. Pray about it and do what is best for your family!
Hi! I've lurked on and off on your page for a bit now and wanted to comment on this post. With my little one who is 2 years old, we decided to have the testing done. Abortion is a NO WAY in our lives as well. The reason we did the testing...if there is spina bifida there is a procedure which can be done while you are pregnant to drastically lessen the effects of the disease on the baby. We figured we needed to know if our child had that so that we could intervene and help if that was the case. Thankfully for us all tests came back with good results and it was not an issue, but if our child was born with spina bifida we would have felt terribly that we did not know to have the surgery performed. Also, our testing came with an extra ultrasound, which we couldn't pass up! Wishing you well!
I just found your blog today and loved our similarities. I am also a paralegal, and a believer. :) I have a two year old son conceived by IVF (God gave us a successful cycle on our first try). Our second cycle last February resulted in a transfer of two embryos, but neither attached. Just this past Tuesday we did an FET with the one embryo we had frozen on our first cycle in 2008, so today I am 2dp5dt. We opted to keep this FET a secret, so no friends and family know and nothing has been shared on my blog. I am so excited for you and your successful FET! I know the odds aren't quite as good on FET as IVF, but with each FET success story I hear I have more hope. Keep the faith, right? :) Blessings for your pregnancy!
We just had our first OB appt on Wednesday. oh my gosh was is good to see the US and see that the baby is still in there and growing! I am still breathing big sighs of relief every time I think about it.
Our OB gave us all the info about the testing, but delicately suggested that for anxious mothers (like myself) the testing can't rule anything out 100%, and the emotional turmoil of an inconclusive test might cause more stress than statistically appropriate. She kind of cautioned us against the testing. You know, had this been a natural pregnancy, we might have proceeded with the testing, but having worked so hard for this baby, it just didn't seem to matter. So we declined.
Besides, we've been in some sort of special 1% category for our entire ttc journey, so I wouldn't want to chance that we'd get a strange 1% result that left us (meaning me) freaking out.
I do understand that it is a really personal choice, and I think that our guts are pretty good at directing us to what is right for our particular circumstances.
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