TURLOCK, CA:
105° / 71°
PORTLAND, OR:
76° / 54°
Aaron is up in Portland right now, and I must say he is visiting at just the right time. It's a whole 30 degrees cooler up there! Those numbers help reaffirm just how much the Central Valley's summer weather stinks, and it weakens my already caved-in case of why we should stay in Turlock indefinitely.
Aaron grew up in the Portland area and it wasn't until after we had Ella that I uprooted our tiny family to where I grew up - where the cows' aromas and haze meet, where the amount of rain fallen in one year potentially adds up to the amount of rain fallen in half a month in Portland, where crazed drivers rule the streets and you get tailed going under 80 m.p.h. in the fast lane on Highway 99, the list goes on (and I'm sure my husband is already thinking, "Oh, she forgot to mention this...and this...and this." Haha!).
And even though the Central Valley isn't the ideal place to live, Turlock holds a special place in my heart nonetheless. People surely don't live here for it's aesthetic beauty, wonderful weather or low taxes (*insert sarcasm*), and, reflecting the rest of the nation, crime and unemployment rates are on the rise here. But, Turlock is where I grew up. It is where I learned lessons from my parents that I carry on with me. It is where I shopped, attended church, went to school, made friends, lost friends. It is my home, in almost every sense of the word.
I guess I tried to carry on this "perfectness" of Turlock because, through the eyes of an innocent child, most things seem perfect. And it is with this perfect integrity I placed in Turlock that I envisioned moving back here being what I needed...what my family needed.
After living here for 3-1/2 years, it is not the case.
Although Turlock was my home while growing up and it was my home while going to school in San Diego (I'd go "home for the holidays"), this place no longer has that deep connection with me. What changed me? My husband changed me. And for the better, I think!
I don't want to limit Ella's life to Turlock. I don't want unhappiness to settle into Aaron's soul. His happy-go-lucky demeanor takes a serious toll during the summer, and why on earth would I ask him to stay somewhere where he is not 100% happy? Life is too short to just settle for second best. And there is no way I'm going to give Ella a second best life. She deserves the best from Aaron and me, and living here does not give us that opportunity...not because Turlock is necessarily a bad place (because, for some, Turlock serves them perfectly for their home), but because it's not the place that brings out the best in Aaron and me, and subsequently, the best in Ella.
I don't know why I am rambling about this. I guess the idea of Aaron being up in Portland right now made me realize 1) how important his happiness is to me and 2) how a 30-degree difference can create a list of 30 very good reasons to move.
Not now, of course, but when the time is right we will move. God will lay in our hearts when and where to move, of that I am sure, but in the meantime, I will live life to the fullest.
2 comments:
I'm sorry it is so hot! It is very hot here with humidity so you wouldn't want to be here either! :)
It's the same temp here in OKC... My goodness it's horrible! I keep telling my husband we need to move north or get a cabin on the lake and a boat. It's just too hot when you're not having fun outside!
As a family & with God's guidance you'll find the right time-- and hey, maybe that temp is God's nudge? :)
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