Our Marriage

I recently came across a list posted by Gina @ It's How She Rolls about ten things she and her husband are doing right in their marriage and one thing they are not. I found her post fascinating and, with her approval, I am recreating the same list for Aaron and me.

Here it goes!

Ten Things We Are Doing RIGHT in Our Marriage:

1. Our ability to laugh with each other. I would never consider myself a funny person. I'm not the one cracking the jokes at the party. But, I am the one laughing! And Aaron...well...I find him so funny. He ties with my dad, who I can't help but laugh around. They both make me laugh from my soul and that is one of the best characteristics the two most important men of my life share in common. Hey! They always say a daughter marries someone like their dad. :)

2. Our future. Aaron and I have our heart in the present but our eye on the future. We both communicate what we want our tomorrows to bring and we are both together on our decisions. One of the best parts about being married is planning a beautiful life together, whether or not it'll happen as planned, it is still so fun to hope and dream together.

3. Ella. Aaron and I are united in raising our daughter the best we can. I cannot imagine having a better parenting partner than Aaron.

4. Support. Pretty much half of our marriage, Aaron was in school. The first year (and most of my pregnancy with Ella) he had to finish his final classes at Portland State University and then for the past 2-1/2 years, Ella and I supported Aaron's quest to earn his credential and master's degree in special education. He will be finalizing his thesis this Fall! I support him 100%, just as he supports me 100%.

5. Considerate of each other's opinions and feelings. Aaron and I by no means see eye to eye on everything. The saying, "Agree to disagree" definitely applies here! But, we always listen to each other, value each other's opinions and feelings on any given issue and then work through it. We don't always agree, but I don't think agreeing is always necessary. It is how we work through the disagreements that matters and helps mature our relationship.


6. Prioritize each other. Hands down, Aaron puts my needs before his own. As an example, he could be dirt tired and ready to just crash into slumber bliss, and all I have to do is hint at my back hurting and he's there, rubbing my back. He makes me feel so important. My needs matter to him like they are his own. I can honestly say that he is better in this area than I am, but through his actions, he is teaching me how to selflessly give myself to him.


7. Compliment each other. We don't necessarily give tons of compliments to each other everyday. Every once and awhile kind words are exchanged. "You look beautiful today." "Wow, that shirt makes you look ripped." (Aaron likes to hear that one! Haha!). But, in our home, our jobs, our finances, our decisions, our parenting...we compliment each other. We bring out the best in each other. I make him a better man and he makes me a better woman.

8. Emotionally available. More often than not I am a closed book. Even though I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I still keep so much to myself. But Aaron, being the opposite in that respect, has taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable and to expose my true feelings. Through this battle through infertility, we have come together and leaned on each other a lot for emotional support. Our infertility has taught us the true meaning of being emotionally available to one another. We have grown in this area so much the past couple years.

9. Family. Family means so much to each of us. Without them, we would be nothing. It is through our family that our characters grew. Aaron is warm, confident, loving and selfless, and I have his parents to thank for that. I'm a royal mess, and I have my parents to thank for that. Haha! Just kidding! My parents molded me into the woman I am today. They gave me a sense of value, respect and pride that I have taken with me.

10. Love love. Aaron and I have "love love." This saying came about early in our relationship and it stuck. It's a special kind of love. It's playful, fun, sincere and unique. I can't describe it, but whenever we say "love love" to each other, we both share a mutual feeling and understanding. Ella calls us her "love loves," and it about melts my heart into a puddle of mush.

One Thing We Are Doing WRONG in Our Marriage:

1. Understanding our differences. It is sometimes hard to understand our differences. God made us differently, we are two different people, so it's only natural for differences between us to form. But, appreciating those differences is sometimes hard, especially when those differences can cause conflict. We handle stress differently, we parent differently, we feel differently on issues. We have different work ethics, different personalities, different faith...the list is infinite. And although we 100% love each other and I would not want to be married to any other guy, appreciating those differences is hard. We have to focus on not wanting to change each other's differences, but to change our perception of those differences.