Patience is Hard to Come By

If I had to choose three words to describe my life right now it would be LACK OF PATIENCE!!!

There is so much in my life testing my level of patience. Not only is my infertility teaching me the hard lesson of patience, but many other areas of my life are also being tested.

Ella is going through a phase right now. I can't quite get a hold of where this phase is stemming from, but she has pretty much stopped listening to Aaron and me. I realize her independence is shining through and she is trying to grow into her own person and test her limits on her way, but the respect she used to have for us is out the door. She is testing my patience all...the...time. Being patient towards Ella comes naturally, though, because she is my daughter and my unconditional love for her kicks in, but I still wish her listening ear hadn't gone deaf.

Also, my cupboard project is going to take absolutely forever. I went into this project blindly ignorant as to how much time and energy will go into it. In my mind, I didn't think it'd be this time-consuming. In any case, I plan on doing a little each day. I want to keep the fun in remodeling my kitchen without the task becoming daunting and overwhelming. Wish me luck!

Thirdly, losing weight is requiring a lot...and, I mean A LOT...of patience. As I said in my post, Infertility Fifteen, Aaron and I are striving to lead healthier lives. Aaron re-joined the gym (in fact, that is where he is as I write this) and we both are more conscious of what we are eating and portioning our shares. I'm eating as if I'm pregnant already...feeding my body the nutrition a growing baby would need. It's still hard, though, and I struggle, but at the end of the day, I am willing to sacrifice momentary pleasure of indulging in some of my favorite foods with the flicker of hope that perhaps this healthy lifestyle will help us conceive our second child.

Food has always been my therapy. It helps me cope. However, I'm trying to retrain myself to turn to God, Aaron and my family when needing a coping mechanism. I need to rely on them, rather than food, to help with the pain I'm experiencing with my infertility.

So, as I take each day as it comes, I will "[w]ait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." (Psalm 27:14 (NLT)). For, as Wendy wrote in The Waiting, "God doesn't waste time; He holds it in His hands. He redeems it by using our experiences to prosper us in each season of life."