HCG and Progesterone Tests STAT

My RE requested I have HCG and progesterone blood tests done ASAP., with strict instructions on the order for Quest Diagnostics to process the request STAT.

Wow! STAT? Really?!?

I really didn't think it was all that important. I mean, I took a HPT yesterday and it was stark white negative. My doctor knows this, but yet, he wants to have a blood pregnancy test performed.

Suddenly, I start feeling that hope seep in again. The hope that I always manage to dig up, time and time again.

I made the appointment to have my blood drawn as soon I received the order and then it felt like Christmas Eve all over again. Sitting around, waiting for my doctor to call with the pregnancy results. Unfortunately, my nurse e-mailed me and said it looks like the results won't be in until tomorrow.

So, we wait! Heck, my period might start tonight for all I know!

But, while we wait, we still hold onto the chance that this is it. A chance that even with a negative pregnancy test at 18 or 19 dpo (approximately), I could still be pregnant, right? Right???

Heck, my friend had a negative HPT at 14 dpo and she ended up being pregnant with twins!

All things are possible. If God is for me, then who is against me? Pregnancy or no pregnancy this time around, God is teaching me so much about myself through this journey. Things that He knew I needed to learn and that I would only be open to learning through infertility, a disease which ripped out my heart and made me second guess the control I so confidently thought I had on my life. During the process of my heart being broken, God has amazingly healed it in ways that years ago, I would not have dreamed possible. Ways that only infertility could help me discover.

So, although I still scowl at infertility and would wish this on nobody, God was able to find His place in my life again. I didn't realize how much I needed Him in my life until all of this.

And, as a friend commented on a recent blog post...THANK GOD FOR GOD!!! Amen to that!