This morning I peed on an OPK (ovulation predictor kit), even though I'm 11dpo (11 days post ovulation), for two reasons. First, because I've heard that if you have a positive OPK after ovulation, there's a chance you are pregnant, and I thought, "What the heck?" And second, because I was so desperate. My soul needed to see two lines and I knew the only way I could is to use an OPK, even if it's a mere facade of what could be.
A woman usually sees two lines on an OPK at any point during her cycle - the test line just varies in shade with it being darkest with the LH surge just prior to ovulation. That is when it's considered positive.
And, this morning, I needed to see those two lines. I was desperate to just witness what two lines look like!
I craved peeing on a stick, granted it's not a HPT (home pregnancy test), and actually watch as two lines come into visibility. Rather than one simple line looking back at me with disappointment that there's no buddy with it in the display screen. Disappointed that it, yet again, has to look back at sad tears rolling down my face, rather than tears of I'm-going-to-pass-out-because-my-body-is-filled-with-too-much-joy tears.
So, I dug out an old OPK in the bathroom drawer and peed on a stick. Within seconds I saw the two lines I needed to see (the test line was lighter, so please don't start thinking I'm pregnant!). And even though those two lines mean absolutely nothing, other than that I have LH in my body (which is normal), my heart started beating fast.
I thought to myself, so this is what it looks like. (I've kind forgotten since the last one I've seen was over 5 years ago). This is the vision my eyes will be laid on when I experience one of the happiest moments of my life.
But after the "excitement" of seeing two lines wore away, I started to cry. A lot.
I cried because I'm just so sick and tired of it not being my time.
I cried out for God to help me remember my time will come and, in the meantime, to find peace. The peace that I was slowly starting to feel, but in an instant lost.
That instant was yesterday when the hidden secret was revealed that our best friends are pregnant with their second child. They wanted to tell me all along, but with the emotional strain of our IVF cycle failing, they didn't want to add to my aching heart. So, because of such, they (and Aaron) hid their surprise from me for months, of which they just found out yesterday their beautiful daughter, who is not even two years old, is going to have a little brother.
And, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not as selfish as I sound. I am happy for them. I really am.
But that happiness for them doesn't take away from the sadness for our situation. They have conceived two babies in the amount of time we've been trying to conceive Ella's sibling. Life is so unfair sometimes, isn't it?
But, I'd never want something like our infertility and their fertility (being able to get pregnant within a month or two of trying!) to jeopardize our friendship. Nothing should come between us. And nothing will.
Lately, though, I feel like our infertility is jeopardizing my LIFE. To the point that I am so desperate to find that happiness that I think only a positive pregnancy test will give me, that I pee on a stick that will just give me false indications of hope.
And that is what Matt and Danielle did. They kept the joy of their pregnancy a secret from me to make me feel better. They withheld news of their pregnancy out of respect for my situation.
So selfless of them and so selfish of me.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
I remember feeling like this, I really, really do. Exactly like this. I was right there where you are, crying out to God in desperation. And He was there the whole time. He had a plan. He was faithful. It was so hard. Gut-wrenching, miserable, most horrible time of my life hard. But now, looking back, I see how He was there, and I see where He brought me and I can praise Him for the journey. I am praying for you. And I am so very sorry for what you are going through.
You are not selfish, at all. These feelings are normal & understandable. I'm sorry the opk was only a short time feel good. Big Huge Hugs!
You can't beat yourself up over your reaction, Bobbi. What you're feeling is totally natural and your best friends (because they're your best friends) will get that. You just have to let yourself feel what you're feeling, and once you process their news, I do think you will be able to be happy for them. At least that's what I've found whenever I've gotten pregnancy news from friends. Hang in there. Sending you a big hug through cyberspace. :)
Sweetie....it's survival! When my BIL and his wife announced to us they were pregnant...my husband literally hung up the phone on them (he did call them back). Our greatest fear was them getting pregnant before us (this was already after 3 years, 2 surgeries, and 2 failed DIUI)...of course it didn't help that they had just told us 2 months earlier they were thinking about not having kids.
BIL forgave Matt for hanging up. They knew it hurt us, they knew we were happy for them.
It isn't about selfishness. Your friends did what they did out of love, because they didn't want to add to your pain...that is a blessing.
Sending lots of prayers to you *HUGS*
OH no, so sorry to hear this. I honestly know how you feel. We all become so consumed with having a baby that we forget that there are other people still living their lives. It is a place that no one wants to be, but you are right we all must find peace.....somehow.
Yeah for two lines!!! I hate when people hid their pregnancy from me-so annoying!
As others have said - you are not selfish. It's understandable that you're feeling all that. You wouldn't be human if you didn't.
There may be times during your friend's pregnancy when these ugly feelings take over you, and my advice for those moments is that you try to remember who she is and how much you love her. I'm only saying this because I'm currently experiencing the same with my brother's gf - who's pregnant.
I find myself avoiding her, sometimes even detesting her, so I always try to remind myself of the person she is, the way I perceived her (as very sweet and lovable) before she got, accidentally, pregnant.
Best of luck.
I hear ya...I feel the same way. Hang in there.
If it makes you feel any better.... I've done the exact same thing just to see two lines. I've never seen two lines on a preg test and prob never will (unless God has other plans I don't know about). Thirteen years of marriage and three adoptions later.... one day it does get better and while this season never leaves you, it does get better.
Post a Comment