The Seeds Are Planted

I explained to Ella that Mommy and Daddy were going to the doctor to have a baby put into Mommy's belly. Last time that explanation worked. In December, she accepted that explanation and no further questions were asked.

This time, however, she asked how the doctor does that.

So, after choosing my words carefully and in a truthful, yet harmless, way she'll understand, I told her that seeds would be planted.

"Oooooooh." She accepted that explanation. :)

Unfortunately, we weren't three for three yesterday. One of our embryos didn't make it through the thawing process. Dr. Weckstein explained that only the best embryos survive the thaw, and a morula (a blastocyst that is not as far along in development) commonly doesn't make it. So, our morula embryo (the one graded 2AB) did not survive.

Of course, a part of me is sad because that was one of our babies, ya know?

But, another part of me (a bigger part of me) is absolutely okay with it. I still had two wonderful blastocysts to transfer, one of which was hatching out of its shell, and by hatching, I mean completely bursting out of it! (Take a look for yourself!).

As you can see, thawed embryos look much different than fresh embryos. The cells shrivel up like raisins when they are frozen.

And, I cannot emphasize enough how much smoother this transfer was. Oh. My. Goodness.

First off, I drank only half of the recommended amount of 32 oz. of water. And, despite the less water intake, after viewing my bladder, the ultrasound tech told me to pee for 6 seconds. And, then, after another looksy, was told to pee for another 6 seconds. I seriously peed out everything. I didn't have to go at all for the entire two-hour drive home. Such a difference from my first transfer when I practically ran to the bathroom after the transfer (after being reassured I wouldn't pee out my babies, of course!).

Once the catheter was in place, the embryologist went to the lab and came back with our babies. Unlike our previous transfer, this time, Aaron and I saw the embryos BURST out of the catheter. Literally, we watched the screen, keeping our eyes on the tiny white straw (the catheter) and then all of a sudden...POP! Out popped a huge white blob...our babies! Dr. Weckstein said only 15 to 20% of transfers have such a great release. He was very happy about what he saw.

While waiting for the embryologist to come back from the lab to confirm if both embryos left the catheter, I looked over to Aaron and his head was down. His hand was tightly gripping mine, but his head was down. I asked what he was doing, and he looked up with tear-glazed eyes and quietly said he was praying.

At that point, I lost it. I had been keeping my emotions in check this whole time (which is huge for me), but I just completely lost it. I cried. He cried. And then the embryologist came back and said both embryos cleared the catheter, and we cried some more, grateful for a such a beautiful transfer.

Our doctor, the nurse and the embryologist then left us and allowed me to lay there for a bit. Aaron got up and just hugged me for a very long time, the most comforting, warm hug that my body needed. I felt myself relax even more. Maybe I just need to be hugged during the transfer, rather than given Valium. :)

On the drive home, I was reclined and Aaron had his hand on my leg. Traffic became congested and he took his hand off my leg and said he had to drive with two hands, saying, "We have very precious cargo now. I have two babies on board."

We're both very confident this time around. I can't tell you where this confidence is coming from, but we both feel a sense of peace that God will bring us our baby(ies) this time around. We have faith! We believe!

So, our beta blood test is scheduled for Saturday, April 2nd. At that time, we will have proof of what we already know...

...that I'm pregnant! :)