Regret is Hard to Live With

Day Eighteen

Something I Regret

Wow, this is a hard one. I don't know if it's necessarily hard to think of any regrets (because I can think of many), or if it's just hard to fess up to these things. So, I'm going to be as honest as I can in this post. :)

Some of my regrets are too personal. Yes, even too personal for my self-revealing, ask-me-anything-and-I'll-tell-you blog, so I'm going to keep those regrets where they belong...in the past.

On the top of my head, some regrets I have are:

• Allowing people to walk all over me;
• Asking for second chances myself, but not giving them back in return;
• Not saying "No" when I needed to;
• Not saying Yes" when I needed to;
• Allowing people to affect my self-confidence and my ability to dream and do BIG;
• Falling away from Christ and the church while in college and my first years of marriage;
• Not being honest with myself in college;
• Not giving Oregon a long enough chance to become my home;
• Not living a Christian lifestyle, but still calling myself a devoted Christian.

I realize some of those regrets are vague and can have infinite meanings to them, but they are true regrets I have nevertheless, and I think a lot of people could perhaps relate to some of them, due to their generalized nature.

Okay, I'm having a self-revelation right now! There is a lightbulb going off over my head!

From re-reading that list, I see that most of my regret is from my PAST. That wasn't my intention while brainstorming that list - those are just the regrets that went straight from my heart to my typing fingers.

Honestly, I cannot think of any regrets in my life right now that are currently weighing heavily on my heart. I mean, of course, I regret sometimes not always being as patient as I should be with Ella or being quick to anger towards Aaron, but those are not necessarily regrets, so much as growing opportunities. I see how I'm acting, I don't like how I'm acting, I will, therefore, change how I'm acting.

By God's grace, I have moved on from a past that I'm not too proud of. Through His forgiveness, my past wrongs have been washed away. He does not hold onto those things and neither should I. He has blessed me immeasurably more than I deserve, which just shows how good of a God He is. His grace does not have a short reach for those who live so-called perfect lives. His grace wraps around the entire world, embracing every one of us, so as to make our imperfections perfect. Regret is not a way to live life, and God gives us the ability to see the promise in every tomorrow rather than the anguish in all our yesterdays.